08/13/09: Man indicted for simulated sex – with car “Patrick Davis, spokesman for the district attorney’s office, reports that Danny Brawner was seen by an off-duty police officer and the officer’s 10 year old son performing the simulated sex acts in a grocery store parking lot… .”
Gives new meaning to “News Screws”, huh? A reply on this story was: “Wow! There really is such a thing as an autosexual?” 
07/01/09: Man nabbed 3 times in week for skipping on tab “The man allegedly ran up bills ranging from $23 to $31 – including four beers with a lunch plate at one restaurant and four margaritas with a cheeseburger at another – then said he was homeless and couldn’t pay.”
06/27/09 Arguing couple does no damage with Cheetos ”“A local couple arrested on domestic assault charges Sunday had an unusual choice of alleged weaponry — Cheetos.”
05/06/2009: Calif. men accused of smuggling songbirds “Sony Dong, 46, was arrested at Los Angeles International Airport in March after an inspector spotted bird feathers and droppings on his socks and tail feathers peeking out from under his pants, prosecutors said.”
05/04/2009
04/14/2009: Defendant not as dead as obit claimed “I’ve been an attorney 30 years, and I’ve never had a client try to fake their death before,” she said. “I’m flabbergasted, and I no longer want to be his attorney.”
04/14/2009 Is it just me, or is there a rash of on-air fainting lately?
03/02/2009: Man stuffs cat inside “bong” “The man told Lancaster County sheriff’s deputies the 6-month-old female named Shadow had been hyper and that he was trying to calm her down.“
02/04/2009: Ancient Fossil Find: This Snake Could Eat A Cow!
02/03/2009: Officials nab traveler with pigeons in his pants
01/22/2009 Salon Com: Oops! I “accidentally” pulled out your IUD! “The nurse prodded her with a speculum and then, inexplicably, began pulling on the IUD, causing her sudden, intense pain. Then the nurse said one thing you never want someone to say when they have their hand in your vagina: ’Uh-oh!’”
